(And not just the awesomeness that is Jody Mills.)
I can’t stop reading meta about this episode and the mistakes that it made. And for once it’s not because I’m wallowing in negativity or commiserating with friends or still feeling angry about it. It’s a TV show that’s done many fucked-up things and here’s yet another. I’ve got too much on my real-life plate to afford to let that resentment simmer. (I totally understand & respect the resentment that many are still feeling, though - just, for me, I distance myself.)
But in this case, I keep reading because in these discussions, guys, for the first time.. I feel heard.
I feel for the first time like my aversion to sex as some sort of overwhelming, addicting force — my aversion to seeing a woman drop every other characteristic and decision in the face of overwhelming male sexuality — is actually something legitimate and OK.
I feel like it’s OK for me to be skeeved out by portrayals in the media of sex being something you’re drawn into, sometimes against your will, rather than something you choose.
I have my own issues with this and my aversion goes much farther than most people’s. But for the first time I hear other people around me saying “Yes, there’s nothing wrong with you… there’s something wrong with it. Yes, this is not how it’s supposed to be.”
And I’m not a young’un. I’ve lived many years with this, and for most of it, I’ve felt completely alone… like I’m frigid, or unsexy, or broken somehow for not wanting my sexuality to be that way.
But today I feel like I might be somewhere in the range of normal.
Just. Thank you so much for that.